


Halloween

by unwillingadventurer



Category: Ghosts (TV 2019)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:35:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27177310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unwillingadventurer/pseuds/unwillingadventurer
Summary: Alison and Mike are away so the ghosts watch some spooky films for Halloween.
Comments: 16
Kudos: 58





	Halloween

In a semi-darkened room on a cold October night, Alison opened the laptop and pressed play. “Right Halloween horror playlist is ready. Enjoy!” she said. “We’ll only be gone the weekend so just have fun, don’t worry.” 

She peered back at the ghosts who were already behind her together on the sofa, eager for the selection of films that awaited them, all except Kitty who had her head down, staring at her lap. 

“Honestly, Kitty, we won’t be long and when I get back, I’ll have loads of stories to tell!”

Kitty looked up and grinned. “Oh wonderful. I’ll wait for you Alison.”

“As will I.” Thomas sighed a lovelorn sigh as he alone sat on the window seat and looked dreamily at the moonlit sky.

Alison watched as Robin’s eyes were diverted from the laptop screen to a cockroach that ran across the floor.

“Come on Mike, better get moving.” Alison joined him at the front door and as they exited, she stopped. “Reminds me, I forgot to warn the ghosts about the thing.”

“Eh…sure it’ll be alright. It’s only a thing.”

“Yeah…probably right.” She looked back at the house as they made their way to the car. “I hope.”

…

As the ending credits rolled on ‘The Shining’, each ghost stared at the screen, mouths gaped open, unable to look away except for Kitty who was behind the sofa refusing to come out. The Captain peered down behind it. Thomas was perched on the arm rest and also looking down at her.

“It’s all over now, Kitty,” the Captain said, “quite safe to return to the front.”

“What manner of vile storytelling was that?” Fanny said, folding her arms.

“Didn’t see you turning away,” Julian said, nudging her.

Thomas shuddered. “All work and no play indeed. The things we writers endure. How close to the precipice we loom.”

“Unhinged the lot of you,” Julian added.

“I like. Scary scary blood and axe go choppy choppy through door,” Robin said with a gravelly chuckle.

Looking at Kitty who was now cowering next to Mary but still smiling not to ruin the others’ good time, Pat stood up to introduce the next film which was beginning to play on the screen.

“This one might be more up your street, Kitty. Lots of fun, more of a spooky comedy if anything. Saw it at the pictures with Carol. What a film!”

“What be it?” Mary asked, staring at the title credits and bopping along as the catchy theme music filled the room. “A film about Ghosts busting moves?”

“Not quite,” Pat said. “A bunch of sort-of ghost hunters who trap ghosts.” They all stared at him. “Huh, never thought that description would date. Still, it’s a great film. Haven’t watched it since I’ve been dead but I’m sure my opinion’s not changed.”

“And featuring a very attractive Sigourney Weaver,” Julian said, meowing like a cat and squatting. 

“Fine, resume quiet please gentlemen, time for action,” the Captain said, sitting forward on the sofa as the others sat back in various casual poses. “Lights Robin.”

Robin narrowed his eyes and heaved as the light flickered off.

…

By the time the film finished, the ghosts were all in various discussions about the comedy, plot and characters featured in it.

“Wildly inaccurate,” Thomas said, pacing in front of the screen, “those hideous creatures were not real ghosts. Incredible fallacy that we resemble such horrific monsters.”

“Thomas is right,” Fanny said. “Highly offensive material.”

“I don’t know,” the Captain said. “Their uniforms and fighting spirit were quite commendable even if they were after the wrong enemy.”

“Anyway, if anyone’s had enough of scary movies, we could do our talk about which Halloween costumes we would wear if we weren’t dead,” Pat said but everyone groaned.

Suddenly Humphrey’s head on the windowsill alerted them to something outside. “You lot, there’s a vehicle outside, big white van.”

The ghosts made their way to the window and stood together glancing outside.

“Exterminate, exterminate?” Fanny said, reading the bright red words on the side of the van next to an image of some kind of robotic creature. “What is that pepper-pot shaped monstrosity drawn on that vehicle?”

“It’s the Daleks!” Pat said excitedly but the others just stared at him. “You know from Doctor Who? Jon Pertwee was my Doctor.”

Julian’s eyes rolled upwards. “Alright…square,” he said, using his hands to form the shape of an actual square.

“What is that white carriage doing here?” Kitty said.

“Oh no!” Pat cried. “They’re here to exterminate us!”

“You mean they are like Ghostbusters?” Robin asked, “come to trap us in box forever?”

“A terrifying prospect of eternity,” Thomas said.

“We have to do something at once,” the Captain said, pacing along where the others stood in a line. “If they are these ghost…busters as Pat thinks they are, then we must fight back, we must not allow them to take any of us. They are the enemy and we must protect ourselves. We will fight them on the…”

“Yes, we get it, Captain,” Fanny said. “What are we actually going to do?”

“Did Alison be knowing about this?” asked Mary as she spied several people climbing out of the van, dressed head to toe in white with visors and masks covering their faces and eyes. Mary screamed. “They be demons!”

“No cause to panic men,” the Captain said. “We must have a briefing immediately. ‘Operation Exterminate the Exterminators’ must be implemented.”

“What does that entail?” Thomas said.

The Captain cleared his throat. “Not quite sure, I’m afraid. Sorry, I’ve never dealt with this kind of threat.”

“They can store us in boxes forever!” Thomas said. “It’s quite serious man.”

“Buried alive!” Kitty screamed.

“It won’t come to that, Kitty,” Fanny said. “And it’d be more buried dead, wouldn’t it, we’re not technically alive?”

Julian sat back down on the sofa and resumed watching the next film on the playlist. “Ah great, ‘The Exorcist’, wonderful. Saw this in the ‘70’s, don’t mind telling you I nearly wet myself.”

“Aren’t you worried about being exterminated?” Pat said.

“Nah! Let them do their worst,” he replied as he stretched his legs out.

Whilst Julian ignored the imminent threat, the other ghosts left the room and made their way down the staircase to the front door where it opened and a group of the white demonic people entered carrying all sorts of strange equipment. 

“God good, their artillery is impressive. The weapons in our arsenal are rather lacking.”

“We have no weapons!” Pat cried in a shrill high-pitched voice.

“We could hide,” Robin suggested. “They can’t find us if we hide. They can’t see us.”

“That’s right!” Fanny said. “In that moving picture, the ghosts were seen, we have an advantage.”

“Right, we must be camouflaged to the enemy,” the Captain said. “Robin no tampering with lights. Mary no walking through these fiends. Oh good god, Julian and the film.”

“They’ll think someone just left the computer on,” Thomas added.

“Good point, stand down, think we’re alright.”

Robin thought for a moment. “Of course it could be different. Sense us not see us. They shoot air, we fall into boxes.”

“Robin’s right,” Pat said. “They may be able to detect us on some ghost frequency measuring apparatus. Or maybe they’ll locate ectoplasm.”

“Do we leave behind this ectoplasm?” Fanny said.

“Don’t know but try not to.”

Mary pointed at one of the intruders. “It be preparing a weapon!” She jumped back as a hose-like instrument released a cloud of white. “It happening! Giant cloud.”

“Good lord, enemy gas!” the Captain cried, pushing everyone behind him. “Fall back. Deplorable tactics.”

They all ran into the library, breathless and panicking as a shroud of dust followed them. 

“How long to we be discovered and sucked off?” Mary said.

“There’ll be no sucking, Mary,” the Captain said. “We must stand defiant. No one will be blown off on my watch.”

Thomas looked at the others and then hung his head low dramatically. “Perhaps this is a sign that this is indeed the end. I’ve never told any of you this but I shall miss you. We don’t know whether we shall be locked together or in separate prisons but in case we are torn asunder then I want you to know that you made my death bearable somewhat, that somehow in the dark cruelness of this bleak afterlife, you gave me a glimmer of hope, a peak of sunlight through tempestuous clouds.”

“We’re never going to see each other again!” Kitty cried.

“Will my head and body be in the same box?” Humphrey’s head— now under Mary’s arm— mused as he glanced at his body sitting on the armchair. 

As the white demons entered the library, the ghosts backed away and stared helplessly as some kind of suction device was pointed in their direction. Every corner was covered with white mist and every area of the house was filled with the enemy. They had nowhere to turn and nowhere to hide.

“This is it!” Pat said.

“I’m afraid we’re on the back foot,” the Captain said, his lip quivering. “We must not give in. We will ascend over the top for King and country.”

“There is no top!” Fanny said. “This is the end as we know it. And to think I complained about being stuck here for eternity with you all. Now who knows what awaits in those ghost-busting traps.”

As they all gulped, accepting their fate, Julian walked into the room. “Not still on all this are we?”

“Julian, mate, we’re going to die! Well… die again,” Pat said.

Julian rolled his eyes. “No, you’re not. They’re not Ghostbusters, you idiots. Ghostbusters aren’t real. They’re pest exterminators.”

“We not pests!” Robin moaned.

Fanny glanced at him. “Well…”

“No, no, I mean insects, creepy crawlies, place is riddled with the buggers. Alison and Mike obviously called in the professionals and I’m not talking about Bodie and Doyle.”

Pat smiled. “Ah I loved Bodie and Doyle. Always thought I looked a little like Doyle.”

“Dream on mate,” Julian added.

“You mean they’re not here to trap us forever?” the Captain said, watching as the white demons backed away and started to leave the house, carrying their equipment. “They weren’t exterminating us but some simple insects?”

“Oh thank goodness!” Kitty said happily, clutching her hands and swaying.

Thomas paused. “About what I said back there, I was suffering great torment.”

Fanny folded her arms and approached Julian, a scowl on her face. “You knew all along and didn’t tell us?”

“Well, all a bit of fun isn’t it? No harm in a few hidden truths is there?”

Robin watched as several cockroaches fell dead on the floor. “Why not eat, it be good meat!”

The Captain peered out of the window at the white demons outside as they disrobed into regular attire and removed their masks. One was a young athletic man with curly hair and a stubbly chin.

“Good lord, they certainly are less terrifying out of their clothes. I mean in their civvies.”

“They look wonderful!” Kitty said.

“Yes, very strong and handsome,” the Captain said and saw the others glance at him. He coughed.

Shrugging, Robin sat down. “We look fools now.”

They all turned to look at Pat.

“It be Pat who told us we were to be busted.” Mary nodded with satisfaction.

Pat held his hands up as they approached. “Guys, hold on, I just got carried away in the excitement of Halloween and the film.” He sat down next to Robin. “I think it all got on top of me. I hadn’t seen Ghostbusters since I were alive. It had a totally different impact. It was saying we were the bad guys. I guess I started thinking that they were out to get us.”

“Alison would never do such a thing,” Kitty reminded him.

“Yes,” Julian said, pacing around the sofa. “And yet Alison neglected to mention any of this. She’d have hired those exterminators. She’s keeping us in the dark again.”

“Don’t slander fair Alison!” Thomas said clutching his heart as though wounded.

The Captain scratched his chin. “There must be a reasonable explanation. Perhaps young Michael distracted her and they did have that big trip. Until they return, we can’t possibly determine hostile intent.”

Fanny made her way to the door. “Well I suggest we return to the films.”

They all turned to look at her.

“…what? As an area of study.”

Pat ran in front of her, leading the way excitedly. “You heard the lady, let’s go, back to it. After ‘The Exorcist’ I believe it’s ‘Beetlejuice’.”

“Juice made of beetles?” Mary said aside to Kitty.

“How intriguing!” Kitty said.

Robin grunted, looking at the dead insects on the floor. “Beetles be dead, no juice.”

“They are going to clear up these pests, aren’t they?” Fanny asked as they made their way up the stairs. She looked at Robin. “No, I don’t mean you.”

“What is Beetlejuice about, Patrick?” asked the Captain.

“I believe its about two people who die and try and haunt their house with not much luck. I missed it because I died.”

“Sounds biographical,” muttered Thomas. “Are all these films about ghosts?”

“Well it is Halloween mate.” Pat smiled. “What can I say, we’re just a fascinating idea, people love us!”


End file.
